One of my favorite characters in Pages in the Wind is Doctor Lieberman. At first, an unlikely hero, he is everything you would want in a wise man. In many ways, he is the comforter in the story. When things become sad or dark, the doctor makes us feel we can find our way back from a seemingly impossible human condition. I love him. Here is an excerpt from the story, Pages in the Wind.
His glasses had slipped to the edge of his nose. He held his expression, calm but serious. “Your mother hired a team of attorneys to strategize your case. I’m here to help you.”
“But I thought she hired you to help the lawyers find excuses for why I did what I did. Aren’t those mitigating circumstances? Isn’t that what you write in those papers?”
He took a long gulp of coffee. “My intentions are clear. To retrieve your memories and find the defining moments that changed the trajectory of your life. After that, I want to help you rebuild your life. It won’t be the life you had before, but I am hopeful it will be a life you can shape into something worthwhile.”
“Oh, I see. Thank you.” I could have pushed the subject because a worthwhile life in prison seemed unlikely. But I left it alone because his words sounded encouraging, even empowering. I didn’t want to mess with that.
Doctor Lieberman poured himself another cup of coffee and unwrapped a vending machine offering. I put my head down so he couldn’t see me grin. The man never ate anything that didn’t come with a plastic sound.
The characters of Pages in the Wind are multi dimensional, like Emily’s early love, Reid Wagner. Emily fell in love with him as a child and their relationship only grew stronger and more complex. He was bold, interesting, brave. Did he live up to her ideal?
This scene illustrates how her eight year old self viewed this unforgettable boy:
“Gee Whiz! I’ve been standing here five minutes!” He plopped down next to me with his elbows on his knees, chin in his hand, staring into space. “Let’s have some fun.”
I waited for him to come up with something, wondering for the millionth time why a ten-year-old hotshot picked me to be his best friend.
Reid redefined average. His hair was a common light brown but was stick-straight until it reached below his ears, forming curls around his neck. His eyes were dark brown, almost black. His lips were full, and his front teeth slightly crooked, in an interesting way. He walked with a slight strut showing confidence and a little conceit. He could be a block away, and I would know him by his walk.
Throughout Pages in the Wind, Emily longs to have a close relationship with her mother. Psychologists often say that a cold relationship is more difficult than no relationship at all. This is how Emily feels, in reflecting on the time she spent with her mother in New York City.
For me, and I can’t speak for Robert – I wanted more. We discussed the French Revolution, the art of Cezanne and Renoir, and current events – the war in Viet Nam, the environment, and the assassination of Robert F. Kennedy. But we never laughed, cried, or shared anything personal. It was a bit like reading a newspaper every day but craving a love letter. I longed to talk to her about boys, and makeup, and how to make friends. So, I’m grateful for the attention and all the experiences she showered on us – but I would have preferred to snuggle on the sofa with her and watch a soap opera with a box of Kleenex and popcorn.
Pages in the Wind explores the impact of harsh criticism, especially during the formative years. Funny, how we can remember a hurtful word or put down, especially if it’s said by someone we love. In this scene, Emily joyfully sings a song as she skips around the yard. But she wakes up her father, who angrily tells her to shut up.
I felt deflated, like one of those helium balloons that flies high until one day, it’s just a blob of vinyl on the ground with all the air sucked out.